I’ve been quiet here for a very long time the reason being the same as always. I get some idea for me to make a post about and when I finally try putting everything into words, it’ll all just disappear like a bubble. Just like that. And I haven’t been online the past few weeks. Yes, unbelievable but true. But this post, I just have to make this one. Not for me but for Him. I always struggle in making posts and often times end up posting nothing. But if it’s about Him and His goodness, no matter how hard it is, I try my best to post it here because anything about Him is worth posting for. Plus, He gives me strength to do so.
Anyway, if anyone’s wondering how I’ve been, I’ve gone through life’s roller coaster. I’ve had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I’ve been broken over and over again. To the point that I even thought of the idea of ending it all. (Don’t worry, those are just thoughts. I can never see myself doing that. God is good.) I’ve sinned frequently and extracted myself away from God and from what little relationship I was starting to have again with God. And even my secret sin which I have denounced before was beginning to become evident in my life again. I felt impure, dirty, and worthless. I felt so helpless that I even began to rely on strangers. And worse of all, I know I was being a hypocrite. I was standing in front of the people at church every Sunday and every church activity when I’m a wreck deep inside. What little self-esteem I have was diminishing slowly. In short, I was going on a downward spiral. Round and round ’til I reach the bottom.
But because God is so good, even before I reach the bottom, He already picked me up and started pulling me up again toward Him. And that He always did in amazing ways. A conversation with a friend (who happens to be an atheist/agnostic. Not really sure which of the two he is) and two songs I heard at a concert I went to made me realize that how I’ve been thinking and living my life was not right. I’ve been busy focusing on my issues that I’ve forgotten to make Him the center of my life. I’ve made all of my struggles, my situation, my problems and my feelings take control and be the center of my life. I was reminded to make Him the center of my everything, of every part of my life, no matter how small or big it is. I was so busy questioning everything that I have overlooked the fact that it all happened because I haven’t let Him take control of my life. I was blinded by my own actions. But because He loves me, He reminded me of what He already did for me and what He is constantly doing in my life. He have reminded me that He have already won my battle for me. That He have won the victory for me. Because He loves me. Because I am His child. Because I am His princess. And no child of His will be abandoned nor forsaken by Him. And all I have to do is let Him lead me where He wants me to go.
You might get tired of reading posts like this from me, but I’ll never stop because I know God will never stop working on me. He will allow me again to experience moments like this so that whenever I become broken, He would be able to fix me and made into an even better person. I’ll never stop because His love for me never stopped flowing. I’ll never stop because He deserves all the glory and honor and praise. And that to Him I now bring. :’)
P.S. I posted videos of the songs I was talking about in this post. Take time to reflect and meditate on the lyrics of the songs. God bless you all!
You have won the victory.
You have won it all for me!
Death could not hold you down,
You are the risen king,
Seated in majesty,
You are the risen king!
– Princess HCR. ♥